Las Banditas Change Tuff Puppy
by BluebirdSunflower
Summary: A group of female bandits start turning leaves in Petropolis.
1. Recap (updated)

To catch up on what's happening since "The Dinner Party", Phineus Rodentius went to Africa in the middle of the night to help his father. Snaptrap and Kitty are the only ones who knows where he is and why, but only vaguely.

When Finny's sister Philamina woke up the day Finny left, she found a quick note saying he had left but would return A.S.A.P. After her initial panic attack, she woke up the members of Las Banditas one by one to gently explain the situation. When the girls were all calmed down they got dressed and went to D.O.O.M. headquarters. D.O.O.M. and Las Banditas are working together.

It is late winter or early spring, so Lucia's fur is starting to turn brown. Bat and Juanita have been dating for the past month, as have Ollie and Lucia. T.U.F.F. have not met Las Banditas yet.

Now at D.O.O.M. hq, the banditas are in the basement with Snaptrap's henchmen as Phil takes Snaptrap upstairs to talk.


	2. The First Day

"How could you not tell me he was leaving?!"

Snaptrap ducked. A book flew over his head and broke a picture frame on the wall behind him. His mother's portrait. Great. "Finny said not to tell you until he was already gone," he whined.

Philamina Rodentius, normally an easy-going kind of gal, stood glaring at him, feet apart and hands balled into fists. "Where is he?!" she demanded, "He said he was with Dad, has he known the whole time where Dad is? What are they doing? When will they be back?" Phil was getting scared, blinking her eyes hard to hold back tears. She and her brother had never been apart for very long, and his leaving secretly like this indicated that wherever he was going was dangerous.

Snaptrap knew he was now responsible for the girls' safety, and he knew Phil pretty well. If he told her Finny was in Africa she would go look for him, and the other girls would probably follow her. "He didn't tell me any o' that stuff," he lied.

Phil's arms started to shake, and she had to blink harder to keep the tears back. "We're supposed to be friends. Friends are supposed to tell each other what's going on," her voice cracked on the last word and she bowed her head, sniffling.

Snaptrap saw what was coming. He stepped forward and pulled the other rat into a hug, wrapping one arm around her waist and using the other to rub the back of her shoulders. That done it. Phil threw her arms around his neck and sobbed. Snaptrap rubbed her back and made soft shushing sounds. He had grown up with a mother and a sister, and he knew when a woman needs to be held. When her crying died down a little, Snaptrap murmured, "Fin promised he'd come back, and he's never broken a promise, now, has he?" Phil shook her head. "That's right. Everything's gonna be okay," said Snaptrap.

After standing there a moment, Phil stepped back from the hug and wiped at her face. "Thanks, Verm," she sniffed and gave a little smile.

Snaptrap blushed and smiled back, "No problem!" He would not tell her about the note Finny had left with him just yet, she might still try to go after him.

"Where did he go?"

"He didn't say exactly, but I think he mentioned something about overseas," it was not a complete lie, Snaptrap did not know where in Africa Finny was going.

"Okay, I'm going to give him one year to get back. After that, I'm going to look for him."


	3. The Plan

**Special thanks to PrismaBat for the review for ****The Dinner Party****, now here is what Las Banditas look like.**

Lucia Santos – she is a weasel. Weasels are ermines; that means their fur turns white in the winter and brown in the summer. Lucia has blue eyes and brown hair that she typically keeps up in a fancy, curly style. She wears a blue long-sleeved blouse, white slacks, and white high-heels. With Finny gone, she is second-in-command of Las Banditas. Like all the girls, she calls Finny and Phil boss, or "bose" as they pronounce it. She speaks in a Spanish accent. She has a crush on Ollie the possum, whom she is the same height as.

Francesca "Fran" Sanchez – she is an alligator, like Francisco. She is the same height and skin color as him. Her eyeballs are yellow with green pupils. She ties her black hair in a tight bun. Fran wears a red sweater, blue jeans and purple flip-flops. She loves to swim, and around close friends she is nice and friendly. Unfortunately, years of abuse from her older brother for speaking around men has made her a very nervous type, especially around guys. When she is not stuttering, she has a cross Spanish-redneck accent. She has a crush on Francisco.

Jacinta Rodriguez – a hedgehog from Rio, Jacinta is a technical genius. She refuses to speak English, even though she can and understands it perfectly. She mostly speaks Spanish, but also knows Italian, Portuguese, and several Latin-American dialects. She has brown eyes and no hair (too many quills). She wears a white blouse, pink skirt, brown backpack to carry her equipment, and brown boots. She is the same height as Keswick, whom she will have a crush on.

Salena – a vixen that grew up in the jungles of Puerto Rico, Salena and her ex-husband Alejandro were raised by Señor Tigre, a tiger who died in their early teens. Salena and Alejandro had six kits (baby foxes) together, and then he went out just before a hurricane and never came back. After the hurricane there was a drought and not much food. Salena's kits starved to death. Later Salena found Alejandro with another vixen, who became as angry as Salena when she revealed the reynard (male fox) to be her husband. Scared, Alejandro backed up and fell over the side of a cliff, resulting in his death. Salena is hesitant to trust men romantically. She is very much like Dudley, except smarter and more observant. She has brown eyes and red hair tied in a pony-tail. She wears a pink tank top, black short skirt, and is barefoot. She will have a crush on Dudley.

Juanita – a bat from Mexico, Juanita is the same height and color as BirdBrain's henchman Bat. She is not blind; she has big brown eyes and chin-length black hair that she does not style. She is very sweet and caring. She, Josie and Jacinta are referred to as "the three J's", and she and Jacinta are "the two little J's." Juanita wears a brown sleeveless dress and is barefoot.

Josephiña Tex – Josie for short, she is an otter from Texas. She has a somewhat "gangsta" American accent. She grew up in gangs. She has black eyes and very short brown hair. She is the same height as Lucia. She is the most violent and evil of Las Banditas. She wears a black tank top with a white skull on it, a denim button-shirt with torn-off sleeves, blue jeans, and black flip-flops. Like Fran, she loves to swim. Bad Dog is her favorite D.O.O.M. agent.

Philamina Rodentius – Snaptrap's childhood friend and crush, twin sister of Finny. Phil hates being called "Filly," but calling her a sewer-rat will send her into a blind rage. She has asthma, and believes that her family is cursed with bad luck and encounters with monsters (at least one per individual). Phil is cunning and always manages to escape the T.U.F.F. agents' grasp. She will do _almost _anything for her sweetheart, Verminious Snaptrap. Phil wears a long, short-sleeved purple dress-shirt, black dress-pants, black dress-shoes, and a red fanny pack to carry her inhaler and cell phone.

Phineus Rodentius – currently in South Africa, Finny is Phil's twin brother. He is energetic, jovial, and dependable. He likes to play around, but he can be serious at the right times. He is nearly fearless and believes in the Rodentius family curse. He wears a black T-shirt, a green plaid button-shirt, blue jeans, and white sneakers. He is a little taller than his sister and has a crush on Kitty.


	4. Salena Turns A New Leaf

When the Chief came into the office that morning, there were papers everywhere! T.U.F.F. has two secretaries, Sally Mander (Doommates) and Tammy (Toast of TUFF and Thunder Dog). Sally was on vacation, and the work was piling up a little too much for Tammy to handle alone. "We've got to hire another secretary!" the Chief declared. No one noticed a bat flying outside the window and then swoop off towards D.O.O.M. HQ.

Later that morning the office was sparkling clean. "Agents," announced the Chief, "I've just hired a new secretary. Please welcome Salena Tigre," he gestured to the vixen standing beside him.

"Buenos dias, señores y señorita," the fox curtsied, "I look forwards to working with you!" Then she walked off. Dudley's tail was wagging; his foot was thumping; his heart was pounding!

Kitty giggled when he saw his reaction, "Oh, my gosh! You have a crush on her, don't you!"

"No," Dudley denied.

"Oh yes you do! You _wuv_ her!"

"No, I don't _wuv_ her, even though she's the most amazing gorgeous foxy KITTY I WUV HER!" the puppy grabbed his partner by the shoulders and shook her.

"Just go introduce yourself," the cat squirmed out of his grip, "and play it cool."

As Dudley walked over to Salena, he could not help but remember the first time he felt like this, when the girl turned out to be the Chameleon in disguise (Puppy Love). He remembered how the Chameleon had spat out the water he offered, there would be no harm in testing this new girl, right? "Hi, I'm Dudley," he said very suavely, keeping down the contents of his stomach.

The vixen smiled at him, "Hola."

"Would you join me for a drink?" Dudley pulled out two glasses of water and handed one to Salena. They both lapped at their glasses before Dudley said, "Mmm, that's good toilet water!" Salena did not spit it out, in fact she swallowed. (A.N. dogs, foxes and wolves all come from the same family. And Salena's from the jungle, she's not going to be too picky about what she eats/drinks.) Dudley remembered how getting wet revealed the Chameleon's true form, so he took a step forward and pretended to stumble, dousing Salena. No change in form, and she did not seem upset about getting wet.

"Listen, niño," she said after he'd apologized, "how about giving me a tour of this place?"

"I'd be honored, Miss Tigre!" he answered softly, all doubts gone and completely smitten. "Let's start with my favorite room in T.U.F.F...THE SNACK ROOM!" The two dogs approached a large panel, "Since this is a super cool secret agency, everything's automated. Push this button for a hot chocolate," a cup of hot cocoa was handed to Salena. "Push this button for a haircut," the vixen jumped out of the way as a razor popped out of the panel. "But don't ever push this one!" Dudley pointed, "It's the self-destruct button!"

_Ah, there it is,_ the fox thought to herself. She pulled a tennis ball out of her pocket and tossed it towards the hallway, "Oops, I drop my..."

"BALL!" Dudley took off running. Salena turned back to the panel once he was gone, but Kitty was standing right between her and the destruct button.

"Hey, Salena! How about a little girl talk?" The vixen reluctantly complied, and the two girls headed into the ladies' room. "So, Salena, just between us, my partner Dudley has a crush on you!"

"He does?!" Salena was surprised.

"Yeah. He's a great guy! I hope you'll give him a chance."

Salena rubbed her arm, a little uncomfortable. She had sworn off romance after her husband deserted her and the kits (baby foxes) for another vixen (A.N. please see the bio labeled "Who are Las Banditas?"). Kitty was waiting for an answer. "I...I think about it."

"Thanks, Salena!" the cat patted her hand and walked out.

Salena stood in front of the mirrors. Now what? She had never been very violent, and it seemed kind of low to destroy people she had never even seen before. But these people had put her friends in jail yesterday, and she was under orders to push the destruct button. "Buck up, Bandita!" she said to her reflection, "You have job to do!"

Salena went back to the snack room. She had counted the buttons to remember which one was the self-destruct, but she could not seem to bring herself to push it. These people had offered her a job! They trusted her! And now Dudley liked her! It was too soon to say if she felt the same, but he was sweet. And cute. _No!_ she thought, _He put you familia in jail! Now they all pay!_ But she still could not press the button. She could not do it! _Maybe I tell Bose I no see button and could no find._ Salena ran out of the snack room...and right into Dudley.

"Salena! There you are! I was wondering if you would have dinner with me," the puppy said suavely, tugging at his bow tie. He had dressed up in a suit.

"Uhh..." Salena was not sure how to answer. She had told Kitty she would give the puppy a chance, but now that she was actually confronted by him asking her out-

Dudley led her over to the elevator and opened the door. In the middle of the room a small, round table was covered in a white cloth with covered plates and a scented candle. Kitty was playing a violin while Keswick, dressed as a waiter, said, "Welcome to Chez Up-And-Down where the maximum occupancy is n-n-n-9 but the food is a 10!"

"I don't know, Dudley," Salena finally managed to say, "I getting over bad break up." Not a complete lie; the "Alejandro Incident" had been a few years ago but it still hurt.

"Relax, it's just dinner!" Dudley ushered her into one chair and sat across from her.

"We serve authentic Spanish cuisine including t-t-tacos, b-b-b-burritos and ench-ch-ch-chilladas!" said Keswick as he uncovered the platters. Salena did not try to leave, she felt trapped and was getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

After they had eaten, Dudley stood up and came over to her side. "Salena," he started with a gulp, "I know we just met, but the truth is I think we have a future together!" Salena did not hear the next part. _Oh, no! _she thought, tears coming to her eyes. "Will you marry me, Salena!?"

That did it. Salena burst out crying. "I can't," she sobbed, "I not who you think! I working for Las Banditas!" The agents waited, surprised, as she calmed herself and explained about the merging of the two groups and the plan to push the self-destruct button.

A few minutes later, after the paranoid agents had checked to make sure the double-agent had not pressed the button, Salena was handcuffed and led outside to a paddy wagon. Before she got in, Dudley had to ask, "Why didn't you do it? Why'd you tell the truth?"

Salena blushed and smiled at him, "I no want to hurt you. I quitting being una bandita!"

Dudley watched the car leave. He thought he should feel mad that the fox would try to destroy T.U.F.F., but he could not help but smile that _he_ had changed her mind. Maybe Salena would change for the better and work for T.U.F.F. officially.

That night, Salena was lying on her prison cot. She was thinking how she was going to explain what happened to her boss, when the very rat appeared in her window. "Hang on, I'll gnaw through these bars and-" (A.N. rats can chew through wood, lead, steel, and cinder block!) Phil was cut off by the vixen waving a hand.

"Bose, I want quit Las Banditas," Salena began nervously. Phil nodded for her to continue. "I could no push button, the agents all so nice to me! And-" she stopped as Phil smirked.

"And they're cute?" Phil chuckled. Salena blushed and lowered her head. "It's okay, Salena. My brother and I added all of you to Las Banditas, but we always thought of you as sisters first. If you want to quit being a bandita, you can. You can still live with us, too. Whatever makes you happy."

Salena felt tears sliding down her face, "Gracias, Bose!"

"What do you _mean_ she's not comin' back!?" whined Josie. Phil had just announced to the two groups that Salena would not be returning to work for them.

"She's decided to reform. That's why they caught her." Josie sulked back in her chair, but the rest of the girls started sniffling. Phil repeated what she had told Salena about their group being family, first, and that they would probably see Salena again, she might even still live in the mountain house with them. The men did not understand Phil's charity or forgiveness, but did not say anything.

Snaptrap and Phil went upstairs to get the snacks. He wanted very much to ask her out, but he was worried it would seem a bit too soon after Finny's leaving and now Salena's resignation.

He should not have worried, though. Phil, grabbing the tray of snacks, said, "We should go and have dinner sometime."

Snaptrap's face lit up and he felt his knees wobble, but he managed to keep his cool as he answered, "Yeah, sure!" After agreeing to meet at Mr. Wong's Chinese restaurant that evening, Phil headed back down with the snacks. Snaptrap watched her until she was out of sight, then he fainted.


	5. Juanita Joins BirdBrain

Shortly after Las Banditas had come to Petropolis, Bat had asked Juanita out. At first she only agreed because she still felt bad about Bat running into Jacinta's spikes. She also kind of pitied him for being blind. But as they got to know each other she realized he was very pleasant and even charming. In fact, she was kind of glad that he was blind, it meant that he did not just like her for her looks, as she had feared most guys did. Bat and Juanita went out every chance they got.

Now, with Salena no longer being a Bandita but still going to live with Las Banditas, Juanita wondered if she could do something similar. She was not quite ready to reform, but if she worked with BirdBrain she would be close to Bat more often.

After Phil had passed out the snacks, Juanita asked Phil to come aside for a talk. "Bose, is you meaning when you say Salena quit but still living with us?"

"Of course," Phil answered, noticing the picture of Bat in Juanita's wing.

"Because, I is wondering..." the bat was not sure how to put her question.

Phil smirked, "You want to work with your boyfriend?"

Juanita stammered as Phil chuckled. "But what will others be saying?" the bandita asked.

"They'll still be your friends. You'll just have a different boss," the rat answered.

Juanita rejoined the girls to tell them how BirdBrain had offered her a job, and she was considering it. It was true, BirdBrain had asked her to work for him; she was much more competent than his other henchmen.

"But he's our competition!" Snaptrap whined.

"Don't you be teaming up with him sometimes, Bose?" Juanita responded.

"Well, yeah," Snaptrap said with a slight pout.

That was Juanita's last day with Las Banditas and D.O.O.M.

That night was Snaptrap and Phil's first date. Snaptrap was standing outside of Mr. Wong's, debating whether he should go inside to wait, when she pulled up in Las Banditas' minivan.

Snaptrap and Phil were at Mr. Wong's for hours, talking and laughing. Eventually they were the only customers left in the restaurant, and the janitor was sweeping the floor close to them, alternating between sweeping and staring at the two rats as though mentally demanding them to leave.

Eventually they took the hint. "I asked you here, so it's my treat," said Phil as she paid the tab and left a tip. Snaptrap ordinarily would have swiped the tip when no one was looking - heck, he would have taken it with everyone watching - but he was a bit goofy and light-headed. He was falling in love!

Outside the restaurant they said goodnight next to the van. They were both a bit bashful about kissing, but finally Snaptrap decided to take the initiative and gave her a quick peck on the lips. They laughed and said goodnight. Phil did not know how she managed to drive straight, and Snaptrap sang and danced all the way home!


	6. The Doomies

Since Salena had not actually pushed the self-destruct button, she had been given a light sentence; about two weeks. When she was released, she reapplied to be a secretary for T.U.F.F. The Chief hesitated at first, but since she had changed and told them about herself, he agreed to give her a second chance. Sally Mander had come back, as well as the two interns Percival and Bobby, so they did not really need a secretary. However, some of the agents were parents who sometimes asked to bring their kids to work or suggested T.U.F.F. supply a daycare. The Chief asked Salena if she would be willing to watch the kids. This delighted her, "Oh sí, señor! Let me play with los chicos! I used to have six of my own!"

Dudley was a bit surprised to hear that, "Six? Wait, _used_ to have?"

Salena's smile died away and she lowered her head sadly. The Chief asked her to explain and, not wanting to break their trust in her, she admitted, "Dudley, you remembers when I say I get over break-up? Five years ago I have husband, Alejandro, and we have six niños. Five of the most handsome zorritos and my beautiful zorrita (A.N. the Spanish word for fox is zorro). One day, my husband he say he go hunting. Then come bad storm, and it stay three days. My husband never come home, so I go hunt, leave niños home alone. The storm drive away all the food, and when the storm water dry up it not rain, cannot drink! So I cannot feed my babies and they die. Later I see my husband on top of cliff. I run to see, but he talking to another zorra, ask her to marry him! So I come and say 'Hey, you is my husband!' And the zorra, she get mad, and Alejandro, he get scared. We walk to him shouting and he step back, but he step back to much and fall off cliff! After that, I come to America and be thief."

The others felt bad for Salena, and the Chief hired her to work the daycare. A large storage space near the roof was emptied out, and agents offered to bring in old toys and things for the kids.

Salena proved to be very good with kids. In fact, the agents realized she was a lot like Dudley, hyper and playful and with a good appetite. She even had as good (if not better) senses of smell and hearing as Dudley. She was smarter, though, and better at listening and more observant. In fact, as the Doomies approached, she helped capture Dr. Rabies and Madame Catastrophe so Dudley and Kitty could impersonate them to capture the villains. Before they left, Salena warned them not to sit down, but would not explain why. She had been honest so far, so they decided to trust her word.

At the Doomies, Snaptrap was the host and a nominee. Dudley and Kitty stood by the front door, grabbing a gift bag with a Doomies yo-yo, a pamphlet for arming and defusing bombs, and a miniature blaster.

The first nominee that night was the Stinkbug. "I'm gonna sneak into every house in Petropolis and stink up the joint!" he declared. Dudley and Kitty ran out to the car and put on HazMat suits, then drove over and nabbed the Stinkbug.

Next was Snowflake and Slush, who were planting a pumpkin-shaped bomb next to the bank vault. Once again, Dudley and Kitty jumped into the car and drove. They caught the bunnies and, using their pamphlet, defused the bomb with 5 seconds to spare.

The last nominee of the night was Snaptrap. "My friends of Las Banditas have applied a strong glue to all of your chairs and by now have picked your pockets!" he laughed as he and his men and the girls, and the Chameleon, BirdBrain, and his henchmen, ran out through the back exit, angry villains throwing grenades and firing weapons at them even after they were long gone. It was true, the villains were glued to their seats; the chairs were even glued to the floor. No one dared stand up lest they rip their clothes, which would be far more embarrassing than being stuck.

Dudley and Kitty called for back up. T.U.F.F. agents came and tried to pry the villains out of their seats. Some got loose successfully, not ripping (noticeable) holes in their clothes. Others, like Jack Rabbit, were not so lucky. Kitty covered her eyes and she and Dudley laughed, Jack's face red and scowling because of the large new hole in the seat of his pants. Some villains refused to be ripped out of their seat, or were stuck so firmly, that the agents had to cut through the legs of the chairs and carry the villain, chair and all, to the paddy wagon.

When they got back to T.U.F.F., Rabies and Catastrophe were in the cell with Salena standing guard over them, the two villains growling at her. Keswick told them excitedly, "They tried to escape like last time! Catastrophe was going to use her claws to pick the lock on their chains, but Salena grabbed her claws as soon as she extracted them and clipped them. Then she threw them both in the cell!" Salena blushed as the other agents cheered her, then gasped and giggled as Dudley lifted her onto his shoulders and carried her around the office in a victory parade.

Salena had not told her new friends she was still living with Las Banditas, as was Juanita. The two of them new about the plan to superglue everyone to the chairs. Juanita had begged Snaptrap to let her tell her new boss BirdBrain, saying he might help pick pockets and the rat agreed. The Chameleon, who had been disguised as the pencil Snaptrap was writing the plan with, was also let in on the deal.


	7. Las Banditas Ripoff Home Alone

Snaptrap was sure he was falling in love with Phil, and she seemed to like him back. Whenever he was around her his knees wobbled, and she could not get him off her mind. Kissing twisted their insides and brought heat to their faces. However, there was one thing they could not seem to agree on. Whenever they talked about getting married, Phil declared she would not until she (and her husband) had reformed and become good citizens. "How could I raise a family like that?" she reasoned, "Always on the run from the law, having to explain to the kids we have to hide because we're criminals. I don't want to raise a family like that."

Lucia, Francesca, and Juanita (and Jacinta, who was not even seeing anybody) were of a similar mind. Salena had already reformed, and now she and Dudley were dating. Josie, on the other hand, liked being a villain. Bad Dog and Leather Teddy were her main suitors. Mole flirted with Jacinta, but she had no interest whatsoever. The two alligators (Francisco and Francesca) were dating, now that Fran was comfortable enough around him to speak without stuttering. Ollie and Lucia were quite fond of each other; the opossum was the voice of reason for D.O.O.M. and the weasel was her boss' right-hand woman. It had now been six months since Finny left, and Snaptrap had still kept his note a secret.

Snaptrap led Phil into the living room. He got down on one knee and pulled out the ring he had swiped from his mother's dresser. "Will you marry me, Philamina?" he smiled. Phil put a hand to her smiling mouth, tears springing to her eyes. Snaptrap was so sure she would say yes. However, she dropped a bomb instead, "Will we stop being villains when we get married?"

Snaptrap was surprised and even a little disgusted, "I've told you before how I tried to be good. It was too hard." (Snap Dad)

"Well, how long and hard did you try?" she snipped, already knowing the answer: one day, and not really all that hard.

They started arguing, and eventually one angry word led to another until Phil declared, "That's it! It's over, I'm done! We're obviously not going to see eye-to-eye on the subject!"

For a brief moment, Snaptrap almost regretted his response, fear of losing his girlfriend almost making him reconsider; but then all the anger and bitter words came back, masking all softer feelings. "Fine! Get outta here! There's no place in D.O.O.M. for ya!" he shouted.

Phil went down to the HQ and called to girls in Spanish. The guys still did not speak enough to understand all that she said, but Las Banditas seemed to feel sorry and shocked for their boss. They all filed out, holding their noses in the air when they passed Snaptrap. Only Josie remained, mumbling that the Boss' personal business was not going to affect her work.

Over the next three weeks, Juanita and Salena were noticed to become more tense than usual, and Josie would snap at BD and LT whenever something did not go her way. It was also noticed that, except for Josie, Mole, BD, and LT, D.O.O.M. was not really getting into any trouble. The reason was, they had lost all purpose and meaning without their girlfriends. Although they would never admit such a thing; they still had their pride.

Snaptrap mostly just sat in his armchair, brooding. Sometimes Sissy would come and try to get a rise out of him, suggesting heists or waving a block of cheese under his nose, but nothing helped. Ollie and Francisco were in a state of depression; Ollie wondered what Lucia was doing, and Francisco worried how Fran was faring without him. It did not really help when Larry brought the news that he had seen the girls working around town; Phil was a clerk at the grocery store, Lucia was a florist, and Francesca was driving a garbage truck.

One evening, Snaptrap was trying to listen to some music, but the stupid radio kept playing stupid love songs.

**click **_Baby you light up my world like nobody else _(What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction)

**click **_So call me maybe_ (Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen)

**click** _If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go_ (Boyfriend by Justin "Beaver")

**Boom! **"PERISH, STINKIN' RADIO!" Snaptrap shouted, clutching a blaster in his shaking arms. The others stood by, shocked and feeling awkward. Josie had left for the night after she, BD and LT bungled a robbery. Sissy had come running down the stairs. She quickly took in the remains of the radio and stepped over to her brother, standing behind his chair and rubbing his shoulders. "Why don't you call her if you miss her so much?" she suggested quietly. Snaptrap pouted. "Okay, then go out and find another girl-"

"An_other_ girl!?" he spun around, looking his sister in the eye. "Phil's one in a million! She's the only girl who took a chance with me! How can you-" he stopped when he noticed Sissy's grin, and then the boys' grins. "Okay okay. She means a lot to me. But what am I supposed to say? How can I convince her to take me back?"

"Exactly what happened to make her leave, boss?" Ollie piped up, figuring it would have to be Snaptrap's fault.

"I tried to ask her to marry me and-"

"YOU PROPOSED?!" Sissy squealed, trying to give him a hug from behind the armchair.

"Yeah, but she didn't wanna do it unless we could stop being bad guys. And when I said I wouldn't, she got mad and we started arguing. Then she broke up with me and left."

Silence filled the room. No one could think of anything Snaptrap could say to bring Philamina and Las Banditas back. Suddenly the answering machine beeped. It had actually been beeping for two hours with nobody noticing. Francisco went over and pushed "Play".

_"Hey, Verm, it's me Phil"_ came the voice. Francisco quickly paused the message and brought the machine over to Snaptrap.

"HEY BOSS! SHE CALLED SHE CALLED!" the gator jumped up and down, hoping everything would be fixed and he could see Francesca again.

Snaptrap, nervous and excited, played the message. _"I, well, I'm sorry about how we left things. I really just called to say goodbye-"_

_"Bose we needing you upstairs!"_ came Salena's voice, faint.

_"Brock and his chicos not getting us today!" _Lucia declared, a little louder than Salena.

"_Don't be afraid, now, Fran. Help Jacinta set up the roof." _Francisco felt his heart melt as Fran stammered an affirmative. Then Phil's voice came back on, sounding like she was close to crying, _"It's really nothing to worry about, but we'll probably have to leave town soon. (pause) Goodbye, Verminious. I love you." click_

Snaptrap was gripping the machine as he looked up at his friends, worry freezing his guts. They all stared back at him, frightened. Las Banditas had mentioned a Tomás Brock before. He was a badger, a crime boss the Rodentius twins had once robbed. He had been plaguing them and the girls ever since, trying to terrorize them into giving back what they had stolen with interest. Now it sounded like he had caught up to them, and the girls were either making another run for it or taking a stand. Snaptrap was hoping they had already run and were miles away as he told his men, "We can't handle Brock alone, he's got those bears and like a hundred monkeys on his side. We need to call T.U.F.F."

Ironically, T.U.F.F. had received a similar message from Salena and had called D.O.O.M., asking where she lived so they could try to help her. Dudley, Kitty, the Chief, Keswick, and several other agents followed the D.O.O.M. van up the mountain to the Tudor house. They soon noticed they were being escorted by BirdBrain's Whirly Bird; Juanita had called Bat to say goodbye and ask him to tell BirdBrain that she resigned. When they arrived, they met in a group so the bad guys could map out the lay of the house and tell the good guys just how many girls they would have to rescue. Suddenly a bus pulled up beside Las Banditas' minivan, and a large badger, two similar-looking bears and a monkey stepped out and approached the front of the house. The rescue-group were not noticed; they watched from behind the trees and bushes.

The badger called out to the house, "Hey, Banditas! Hey, Rodentius! Give me my money, and I tell my boys to go easy on you!"

Juanita poked her head out above the roof, "Do you promise?"

"Double-cross my heart and hope to die!" the badger, Tomás Brock, nodded as the two bears, Rico ElOso and his brother Osito, snickered.

"Hokay!" Juanita reached beside her for something, then threw it down. A brick hit Rico in the head.

His companions looked at him as he lay on the ground. "How many claws am I holdin' up, bro?" Osito held up two claws. Rico answered eight.

"You wanna t'row bricks, girl?" the badger turned back to the bat, "Go ahead, t'row bricks!" Osito collapsed beside his brother. "You got any more?" the badger was getting irritated. Juanita shrugged. "She don' have no more bricks," Brock said to the bears, his back momentarily turned. The brothers started whimpering and pointing. Brock looked in time to avoid the next brick, but the monkey beside him was not so lucky. "That did it! No one t'rows bricks at me and get away with it! Rico, Osito, go to the sides. I go around back." The three of them ran quickly around the house.

The monkey, who was known as El Chango Bandito, head of Los Changos Banditos (The Monkey Bandits) slowly got up, then walked up to the door. He slid on marbles underneath the doormat. Another monkey ran out of the bus to help him up. They noticed a string pulled taut between the ground and the roof. The new monkey pulled out some pliers and cut the string, then they both stepped back and waited a moment. When nothing happened they stepped forward again, only to be hit by a set of weights which was followed by a trunk full of books. When El Chango got up, he tried to peer through the windows around the door as he grabbed the knob, then pulled his burned hand away, screaming. He ran in circles as he waited for his hand to cool off. Then he and the other monkey climbed up to the roof, but entered the house through a window.

In the meantime, the Chief reminded everyone that the girls were in danger. Bat, Zippy and Duck were ordered to fly up to the roof. Kitty, BirdBrain, Ollie, and Francisco would go to the back, where the woods became a bit swampy. Dudley, Snaptrap, BD, and Ewe circled over to the right side of the house. Keswick, the Chief, Larry, Owl, and LT covered the left. The rest of D.O.O.M. and BirdBrain's henchmen remained at the front as the rest of the T.U.F.F. agents circled the bus, arresting the monkeys.

At the back of the house, the ground seemed to have overgrown with weeds and grass, and BirdBrain, Ollie and Francisco remarked that it seemed as though the pool and trampoline had switched places. They watched as Brock came to the back porch, then stopped as he noticed something about the wooden steps. He grabbed the rails on either side and was about to swing himself up onto the porch when the rails collapsed, causing him to fall and break the stairs. When he got up, he decided to try the cellar instead. On the first step he slipped on something and fell all the way down. After five minutes he came struggling back up and jumped onto the porch. He poked his head in slowly, then yelled. When he came back out the top of his head was on fire! He raced to the pool and stuck his head in, only to light up the area; the water had been mixed with some type of lighter fluid. Luckily it did not kill him or do much damage, just burned the fur. The pool was only a foot deep. Growling, he jumped onto the porch again and kicked the door open, knocking down a blow torch. The door slammed behind him.

At the left side of the house, a ladder led up to the roof, and a rope extended from a window in the attic to a nearby treehouse. The Chief and his team watched as Rico jumped up to grab the ladder, only to slip right off. A green blob landed on his face as he lay on his back. When he got up, he noticed the window was open. Climbing through, as soon as he put his feet down he screamed and went down (inside the house), yelling that he would kill Las Banditas.

When Osito had found no entrances at the right side of the house, he came back to the front. The monkeys had all been arrested and taken away, and the remaining rescuers were well-hidden. Osito pulled out a battery-powered saw, cutting around the locks on the door, and stepped in, closing the door behind him.

It was between ten minutes, half an hour, before Brock, the two monkeys or the bears were seen again. Juanita had flown down from the roof with Bat and his team. On the right side of the house, a rope spiraled down with Jacinta easily climbing down it to a ledge poking out of the wall. The Oso brothers poked their heads over the edge. Jacinta shouted in Spanish, "Nice night for a neck injury!" (Home Alone 2, a.n. all the defenses are from the first three Home Alone movies.)

Osito turned to the side and picked up a brick, tossing it down. Jacinta easily dodged it. The two bears started to climb down the rope, slowly. Osito suddenly remarked, "Rico, you wearing aftershave?"

"That's not aftershave..(sniff) It's kerosene! The rope is soaked in it!"

"Now why would anyone soak a rope in kerosene?"

Jacinta struck a match on the wall. As the Oso brothers looked down at her she called, "Buenos Noches (Good Night)!" Then she touched the lighted match to the rope. The brothers tried to climb back up, but they were not fast enough and fell to the ground. When they landed, sacks of sand and buckets of water poured on top of them.

At the back of the house, Francesca, Josie and Salena ran out the back door and waited between the pool and the trampoline as the monkeys stuck their heads out the attic window. The girls ran towards the swamp. The minion monkey walked onto the gutter over the trampoline and jumped. He fell through the trampoline into the real pool, which had been drained enough so that he could not reach the ladders to climb out. El Chango Bandito drew his head back into the house.

Lucia had exited from the left of the house, ziplining on the rope into the treehouse. El Chango Bandito followed after her, climbing across the rope. He was halfway across when Lucia held up a giant pair of clippers to the rope, "Hey, Chango! Check thees out!"

"Ay yi yi!" shouted El Chango Bandito as he started back the way he had come. Lucia cut the rope, sending him swinging into the side of the house, knocking him onto his back.

The bears and monkeys were led around to the front of the house, the girls and their friends laughing behind. Dudley, Francisco and Ollie all had an arm around their girlfriends. "Where's Philamina?" Snaptrap suddenly reminded them.

"And Brock too!" shouted Larry.

At that moment everyone noticed a burning smell. It was the house! Smoke was pouring through the windows as flames appeared on the roof. Suddenly the badger burst through the front door, dragging a coughing rat behind him. Getting a good two yards between them and the house, Brock threw Phil onto the ground. "Now I get my money's worth," he growled, watching Phil choke to death. This was too much for Snaptrap. He ran out and jumped onto the badger's shoulders, yanking on his ears. Brock stumbled back at the pain and the pulling until he found himself surrounded by agents, who pulled Snaptrap off to put the badger in handcuffs. Snaptrap skidded to Phil's side; she had stopped coughing and was unconscious. Frantic, Snaptrap searched the fanny-pack Phil always had around her waist and pulled out her epipen. He opened it and stabbed it into her thigh, which would give her an injection of her asthma medicine. Their friends circled around the two, watching and hoping in silence as they waited for the medicine to take effect. Finally, Phil's eyes fluttered open.

"¡Ay caramba!" Juanita declared as everyone tried to reorganize as the fire was put out, "If this is what trouble comes with being bad guy I want no more!"

"I'm going to have to resign, then, boss," said Bat, wrapping a wing around his girlfriend.

"Are you sure about quitting, Juanita?" asked BirdBrain. "You're the best of my henchmen!" Zippy, Ewe, Duck, and Holy Cow looked insulted.

"I sure, señor," she answered as she nuzzled her head under Bat's chin.

In front of the ambulance, Snaptrap was apologizing to Phil. "It wasn't all your fault," she answered, gripping his hand, "I shouldn't have been so demanding that you change. You'd tried before-"

"But not hard enough!" he wailed. "Phil, when you left I had no reason for doing anything! I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. And then when I heard your message, it was like time stopped. I could have dropped dead on the spot and I wouldn't have cared. The only thing that mattered was that you were safe! And when I saw Brock yanking you outta the burning house nothing could've stopped me from helping you!"

Phil looked down and blushed. Snaptrap gulped before starting again, "I'd do anything for you, Phil. Even try to reform. So, will you marry me?"

Phil looked up at him with a small gasp, and when she saw he was serious, she shouted, "YES!"


End file.
